Encouragement Through Life's Turbelence - I Am Still Grateful!

This Thanksgiving month has been a month of balancing it all out. I often write and listen to music.
Though storms are raging in my life, I won't complain, and I am still most grateful.

Have you ever been knocked down or felt beat down by two?                                      

I have and must share these words of empowerment with you.
It just may be the very thing that brings you through.

While living in peace, one day as I was journey through life
Along came a personal family problem
It pierced my heart - felt like a knife

I quickly forgot my focus, my purpose, and sometimes me
Focused on the problem, misery, and strife...I became weak
Depressed, couldn't think straight, but wait  ...
Out of the darkness, hell's gate, another personal problem, a storm, did sneak

Distracted by the situations, I was purposeless living and was sinking deep
Distractions are to bind you
Distractions will take all you have - peace, possessions, purpose - for keeps

Psalms 27: 13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Depressed, can't think straight
Weakened double - what, oh what can I do?
As I think things over and look around
I realized all of my good days outweigh my bad days, I won't complain
So I quickly stand back up - I get off the ground

Understand, in the storm I couldn't see
I was being bound by the two oppressors - maybe the three
Emotionally hijacked, I was filled with fear
But NOTHING could block me knowing God had not left me and He is always near.

God's guardian angels, He quickly dispatched
One took me in for shelter,
One spoke God's peace, power, and life
And another reminded me of my victory that can never be snatched
For no weapon formed against me shall prosper
We all prayed and told the storm where to go
God is in control and have the power - we all know

Now, I have stopped looking at the situations
But instead I look at the meaning of life
Checking dials, balancing, reading compasses of destiny
And removing myself from all distractions and strife

Revisiting what I and others have and can endure...
My multiple life's turbulence
Harriet Tubman traveling through the Underground Railroad
Mrs. Coretta Scott King - husband murdered and her battle with cancer
Nelson Mandela - spending twenty-seven years in prison
ALL still fully engaged in their purpose
I AM EMPOWERED!  I can do this!  I am sure!

For I know all that God has bought me through
I know that God is good and is always near
He won't let you down
So I have no fear!
God KNOWS the plans He has for you.
I AM GRATEFUL!

Because I have committed my life to God, I know I will be tested and will go through
There will be times that I will be emotionally hijacked and possibly lose control of the flesh
I ask God for forgiveness, to remove anything that is not of Him from me, and fill the void with His likeness.
I pray, declare, and decree that God WILL mold me into the woman He has called me to be
In the midst of my trails, tribulations, life's turbulence, I am strengthened...
I am strengthen in God's perfect peace to carry out God's will
My life is not my own, to Him I belong, and it is to be used as a testimony
Greater is coming...
I give myself away, so God can use me...

Psalm 27: 14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

1 Chronicles 16:34

34 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Never Give Up On A Child! A Dedication to Clarence Shawantae' Robinson

Today, I write, with mixed emotions.  Tears in my eyes.  Tears of joy and tears of pain.  There is so much tribulation going on in my life and even more in the world.  It is time like these when I find the good, focus and hold on to that moment.  For if I am going to be distracted, let it be with good.  It will be for my good.  Through it, I am reminded how good God is.

People probably wonder why I talk about God so much. I have been through some tough things in life where I know I should have been dead! But God kept me.  I am a living testimony.  I KNOW what God has done and is doing in my life and in my sons' (Alonzo and Clarence Shawntae') lives. I will forever give God the glory and praise for without God, we never would have made it. Without God, my grandchildren will not make it.  Allow me to share with you with a focus on "Shawntae" whom is the foundation of my strength and the reason for the publication of my book, A Mother's Cry:he's still my child, which a signed copy could be ordered via http://www.pep247.com/.

"Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him," Psalms 127:3 tells me.  It doesn't matter how they got her, who the baby daddy is, or how old the parents are.  Bottom line - children are a gift from the Lord.  So, when the gift is not operating as you want it to, do you just through it away? Some people do, but we shouldn't!  Especially if it is a gift from the Lord.  That's how I came about the title of my book, A Mother's Cry: he's still my child.  For it didn't matter to me that my son had made wrong choices and was living a life of self-destruct.  It didn't even matter to me when he disrespected me because I knew that God had given him to me to nurture, to love and cherish - until death did us part.  I knew if I gave up on my son that he would truly be left out in a mean, cruel, and cold world to be devoured by those wolves in sheep clothing.  

It wasn't easy watching my son self-destruct, selling drugs, doing drugs, in and out of the juvenile criminal system, and being beat down by the streets of darkness.  It surely wasn't easy to hear him curse at me.  It was even more painful for me to want more for my son then he wanted for himself.  He would often say, "I am not going to live to see 21" and was living a self-fulfilling prophecy.  But, as a mother, I was determined that he would see 21; and he would come out of the streets of self-destruction; and he would find his way into a profession he loved.  Through many prayers - both mine and prayer warriors- and by the grace of God, Clarence Shawntae' Robinson is a living testimony.  The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.  Psalms 18:2.  God will deliver - from parent to child, generation to generation - if we would seek his face, pray, ask.  

Many have asked me if I was going to write another book and what is Shawntae doing now.  I am sure I

have already posted that status, but I am led to focus on good things today. I do have plans to write other books - one is already in the works and perhaps one day a movie.  But let me share some things about Shawntae- for he, too, is a living testimony.  I am so happy and so very proud to tell you that Shawntae is a Chef and prepares the best food!  If you have not eaten his food, you are missing out on a treat.  Shawntae' cooks with comedy.  I have eaten the food and enjoy it, but I am still trying to get use to the comedy. He has always joked around.  In fact, I used to shut him down for joking around.  Obviously, it was in his blood, in his genes, in his plans.  Today, I encourage him to follow his heart's desire, but keep it clean.  Here are some of thing things Shawntae has been into.    

http://www.citizen-times.com/story/money/business/2014/09/20/asheville-native-mixes-comedy-cooking/15828955/

See page 10:
http://issuu.com/abtech/docs/abtech_educationjournal_fall2014web

FB post:

Clarence Robinson feeling determined with DeWayne Bartonand 9 others.

1 hr · 

Love waking up feeling like this is life even when I know there's more to accomplish! Really enjoyed the event last night. Food disappeared, you know you got that flavor when guest are snatching scraps while your breaking down and cleaning. Think they tried to take the table cloth cause it had a lil love on it!😂Most importantly , im excited about this opportunity to have my story shared at a culinary school at a Technical College in ATLANTA!!! Was approached last night and told they have been watching me. And the school's Chef will be contacting me!Priscilla R. Ndiayee you also have a personal invite from the contact she said so you can see how beautiful it is!!ThanksDeWayne Bartonn 1💗double bowlegged bruda! You never know who's watching.... So I stay the same... ‪#‎ChefLove4Life‬

Clarence Robinson

1 hr · 

Last night Tony Shivers asked me, "Cooking keeping you out of trouble ain't it!" As he went for round two at the reception table😂😂.. I replied all day my brother. I wanna change that my brother and say Cooking saved my life!!! Great seeing you King keep Glowing Mac... Aeee you got the juice now....... The Holy juice of the Sprit and Blood of the most high!! Tip my hat to you.‪#‎Respect‬

I am thankful for the great support team I had while journeying through with such a challenging child.   It takes the village to raise a child! Couldn't have done it without the support.  Please forgive me for not remembering everyone.  There is a more complete list in the book.  Here are some who comes to mind:  

My family, Robinson and Finley are the best!  My older son, Alonzo was my rock and anchor. Jr's Barbershop - my brother Oscar, Leon Bass, Jr., Portia Evans, Ruth Fabian; daugher-n-law Nikoletta Robinson,Sharon Willis-Fane, Robert Simmons, Life on Life Terms - Matthew Bacoate, Billy Gardenheight, Jr., Karen Cowan, Quentin Miller, Walter Robertson, Holly Broadwater, Bennie Lake, Mr. James Collington, Mr. Craig, Onas Perry, Doug Maybin, Lisa and DeWayne Barton, Coachella Hunter-Purter, Valerie Harper (the other mother), Mamadou Ndiaye, and last by not least, Judge Calvin Hill (who was then Clarence Shawntae's public defender in court).  

                                                      Your labor was not in vain!

Forty Day Journey - Day 3 - What Drives Your Life?

"Everyone's life is driven by something.  Most dictionaries define the verb drive as "to guide, to control, or to direct."  There are hundreds of circumstances, values, and emotions that can drive your life.  Listed below are five of the most common:

1.  Many people are driven by guilt.  They spend their entire lives running from regrets and hiding their shame.  They allow their past to control their future.

2.  Many people are driven by resentment and anger.  They hold on to hurts and never get over them.

3.  Many people area drive by fear.  Their fears may be a result of a traumatic experience, unrealistic expectations, growing up in high-control home, or even genetic predisposition.

4.  Many people are driven by materialism.  Their desire to acquire becomes the whole goal of their lives.

5.  Many people are drive by the need for approved.  They allow the expectations of parents or spouses or children or teachers or friends to control their lives.


There are benefits of purpose-driven living. Knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life, simplifies your life, focuses your life, motivates your life, and prepares you for eternity.  One day you will stand before God and He will do an audit of your life, a final exam before you enter eternity.  He may ask, (1) What did you do with my son, Jesus Christ?  or (2) What did you do with what I gave you?


(How would you answer below?)


Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder:  Living on purpose is the path to peace.

Verse to Remember:  "Yes, Lord, give perfect peace to those how keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you."    Isaiah 26:

Question to Consider:  What would any family and friends say is the driving force of my life?  What do I want to be?



***I am using as a guide, the book, The Purpose Driven Life, What On Earth Am I Here For?  by Rick Warren

Forty Day Journey - Day 2 - Are You An Accident?

DAY  2  - 

I was born to a 15 year old single mother and grew up in public housing.  My mother was the best mother she knew how to be - at that time.  I love my mother and have utmost respect for her.  My father was in and out of my life.  My grandparents stood in the gap and raised me, (with the help of four aunts) until I was almost a teenager.  I was told that I was an accident and was led to think that I destroyed my mother's life.  I never received that message in my spirit and pushed forward into learning how to live my life without making the same mistakes.

"Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were conceived in the mind of God.  He thought of you first.  It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are a breathing at this very moment.  God prescribed every single detail of your body.  He deliberately chose your race, the color of your skin, your hair, and every other feature.  He also determined the natural talents you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality.  

Because God made you for a reason, he also decided when you would be born and how long you would live.  God had a plan in creating you.  He knew the two individuals with the exact DNA he wanted to make you - regardless if they were good, bad, or indifferent.  While there are illegitimate parents, there are no illegitimate children.  God's plan took into account human error and even sin.  God never does anything accidentally and He never make mistakes.  God's motive fore creating you was in His love.  He made you for a reason and your life has a profound meaning!  We discover that meaning only when we make God the reference point of our lives."

Thinking About My Purpose

Point to Ponder:  I am not an accident.

Verse to Remember:  "I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." Isaiah 44:2

Question to Consider:  I know that God uniquely created me.  What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?

My answer:  

I am struggling to accept the fact that I am too giving and some take my kindness for weakness. Why do I have to care about others so much?  Why do I sacrifice me, my time and talents - only to be left with a feeling of being used? Why haven't my talents placed me in a better financial position?  Knowing that God uniquely created me, I often find myself battling with whether I should do certain things or if I shouldn't.  I know that God doesn't want me to be a door mat or be used, but I always want to do what is pleasing in His sight.  Forever praying for clarity and a spirit of discernment.  God has been faithful.




This 40-day blog is Guided by the book, The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren

Join Me In a Personal Forty Day Journey of Discovery

What on earth am I here for?  Have you ever asked yourself that question?  I have.  I have sought education - and have three degrees.  I have sought different careers - and have worked diverse positions from North Carolina to Hawaii, California, and Washington state.  I have been in several relationships - to include multiple marriages.  I attempted to commit suicide at a very young age, but without success.  I have searched all over for an answer of why am I here, but still couldn't find an answer. After all of those actions and activities, I have made a conscious decision to enter into a 40 day exploratory journey of discovery.  As a guide, I will be using the book, The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren.  Notice all of the "I" ...?  It's not about me!

My dear sister-in-Christ, Sharon Willis-Fane, gave me this book in 2004 with a message "To my sister, my friend, you are a blessing to me and to others.  Keep up the good work.  I hope you enjoy this book, as I am enjoying mine.  Continue to be who you are forever learning and forever growing." I started reading the book in 2004, but with distractions; therefore I didn't finish it.  It's time to finish what I started - but start from the beginning.  What an awesome opportunity!  I am starting this 40 day journey with purpose.  Today, the average life span is 25,550 days.  I have probably used over half those days already.  But its never too late to set aside 40 days to figure out what God wants me to do with the rest of my days.

The Bible is clear that God considers 40 days a spiritually significant time period.  Whenever God wanted to prepare some for His purpose, he took 40 days.  Noah's life was transformed by 40 days of rain.  Moses was transformed by 40 days on Mountain Sinai.  The spies were transformed by 40 days in the Promised Land.  David was transformed by Goliath's forty-day challenged.  Elijah was transformed when God gave him 40 days of strength from a single meal.  The entire city of Nineveh was transformed when God gave the people 40 days to change.  Jesus was empowered by 40 days in the wildness.  The disciples were transformed by 40 days with Jesus after his resurrection.  The next 40 days will transform my life - and yours as we go through a chapter a day and as we think about the implications for your life.  As in the book, at the end of each chapter, there is (1) a point to ponder - a nugget of truth; (2) a verse to remember; (3) a question to consider; and (4) a discussion question.  I encourage you to please interact.  Post your thoughts on this blog and let's prayer for one another.

DAY 1  -

God has not left us in the dark to wonder and guess and is not just the start point of your life, he is the source of it.  You discover your identity and purpose through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 1:11-12The Message (MSG)

11-12 It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.

Think About My Purpose

Point to Ponder:  It's not about me.

Verse to Remember:  "Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him."  Colossinas 1:16

Question to Consider:  In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?


My answer, but yours will be different:

I can remind myself by first guarding my heart from the cares of the world.  Proverbs 4:23 states our thoughts often dictate who we become.  God examines the heart of a man, not outwardly.  So what does it mean to guard your heart from the cares of the world?

http://www.gotquestions.org/guard-your-heart.html

The Becks and Lee Walker Heights

I came across this video this on Facebook and it stirred up a mixture of emotions.  First watching it, my spirits were lifted.  I smiled.  Watching it for the second time, I laughed, but then became sad.  I know this community and I know Eddie Beck and his family.

https://www.facebook.com/100010205054944/videos/137562366593931/

Becks. Lee Walker Heights. Old School. Family. Community. If you don't know the history. If you don't know the story. If you don't know the personalities. If you don't know the connections. If you don't know the relations. If you don't know the reasons and the whys...If you don't know the Becks... you will never

understand. ‪#‎Learntounderstand‬#‪#‎Itsnotwhatyouthink‬

Some who don't know of this community or man, may have something derogatory to say. I stopped by today to encourage you.  Don't judge the book by the cover!  This scene is not what one may originally think it is.  Knowing what I know - it is a conversation, a push for this man to get to his doctor's appointment. It is a scene of belonging, love, concern, -----true community.

I have provided information that grant understanding in reference to my different emotions.
I can't recognize whom the woman is talking, but I do know the Becks.  The family grew up in Lee Walker Heights.  The Beck's family are very well respected and cook the best fried fish in Asheville. They have started and coached many community baseball teams.   I went to school with Lamont Beck and worked with his uncle and aunt Pam Beck.  The Lee Walker Height's community has been in tack for over 50 years and is one of Asheville's oldest public housing development.  There is getting ready to be major changes in Lee Walker Heights - just like it was on the Southside a.k.a. East of the Riverway. The scene you just witnessed will be no more. People will be divided and scattered throughout other areas of Asheville -  some areas where they may not be as welcomed --- where there is not a sense of belonging - where community will no longer feel like community.  Please pray for the Lee Walker Heights community members.  I pray that they will adapt to the upcoming major change - in the greatest way!

Lee Walker Heights:

http://www.citizen-times.com/story/news/local/2014/10/26/demolition-transformation-coming-lee-walker-heights/17974875/

http://www.citizen-times.com/story/opinion/2014/11/03/view-stakes-high-lee-walker-heights/18386357/

http://www.citizen-times.com/story/news/local/2015/04/08/housing-authority-addresses-lee-walker-heights-residents/25482929/

http://www.carolinapublicpress.org/20317/redevelopment-of-asheville-public-housing-project-might-be-model-for-larger-overhaul

Life Experiences Sometimes Take Us Into the Valley

Are You in the Valley?

There is so much going on around us, in life, and within our own lives.  It seems it’s turmoil and something everywhere you look.  When it hits home, I call that a “valley experience.”  I have discovered that valley experiences can enhance our spiritual growth - if we allow it.  It’s not what you are going through, it’s how you deal with what you’re going through.  Sometimes we end up in a valley experience not because of choices we directly made, but through the choices our children, spouses, and others  – leaving us indirectly impacted and with a feeling of being in a lonely and cold world.

Currently, I am journeying through a valley experience and it doesn’t feel good at all.  I will name this valley, Hurt.  Within this valley, be mindful there are other roads within i.e. fear, frustration, anger, loneliness; and if you go deep in the valley, there is hate, suicidal thoughts, and other areas of intensity.  One thing I have learned is a visit in the valley is a personal journey.  Others don’t understand because it’s not their journey.  Even if they were journeying in the valley, too, it is still a different effect.  For example, I am in the valley due to choices of a son.  He also has a wife.  We are both journeying through the valley, but it is a different experience for each.  It takes me back to the story in the Bible of Ruth and Naomi – but not with that exact specifics.  You see, my daughter-n-law, Nikki is from Hungary and we share an individual.  We are, temporarily, without her husband and my son; but Nikki and I have bonded with each other to bond and encourage him – pass the roadblock.  I’m talking about those things that prevent us from doing, seeing, being, and etc.  It’s an awesome experience, because in the midst, there is opportunity for me to minister the word of God to both.  And when there is a need, Niki also encourages me.  And when there is a need, Alonzo encourages us and we encourage him.  All three are on separate roads, but in a valley journey. 

It doesn’t matter if you have already been through a particular valley, it still is a different experience.  As I am traveling, I have to be very careful to balance my emotions, be in self-control, be watchful and prayerful at ALL times.  I must realize that the Lord is my Shepherd.  I will fear no evil for thy rod and thy staff comforts me.  You see, while journeying in the valley, it is a lonely place to be.  This is when you see who is there to encourage you.  Sometimes in the midst, there will be days that no one is there.  These are the days that you must realize God is always there.  He will never leave us nor forsake us.  These are the days you must realize that God wants us to lean on Him.  God wants to fill you with His love.  He wants to give you power.  These are the days that if you journey in the right mind, you will come out feeling and knowing that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.   I am sharing my value experience now.  

So the other day, my valley experience took control of me.  In other words, a big boulder came and knocked me down.  It placed me in a daze and I went down the road of sadness, took a left onto the road of depression, and made a u-turn on the road of loneliness.  After sitting and trying to figure which way to go, I looked over and got a glimpse of a neighborhood named “Poverty.”  That’s when I realized that I shouldn’t expect anything from man but expect all things from God through Jesus Christ.  Most people can’t encourage me or you because they are living in “Poverty.”  I used to live there, but I knew and know “Poverty” is not my destination.  I am talking about spiritual poverty.   Here is my revelation:  If one is journeying through life on the road of spiritual poverty, I pray you will make a choice to take another route.  For if and when you do, you will find there is nobody greater…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyRv-tbGJ1Y

To complete my story - In this valley, as I sat still, unable to move, oppressed, in deep thought, not knowing which way to turn, and all sorts of negative fiery darts coming at me – playing with my mind, I began to cry out to God for help!  I was led to listen to some gospel music and journal.  Personally, I love spiritual music because it ministers to my spirit.  It has to be songs with an encouraging and empowering message.  I also like to write.  Writing is therapy for me and it also is used to empower others.  So after crying out to God for help, I was able to start moving again.  I started moving by faith and not by sight.  I started moving toward the mark of the higher calling.  I realize that my eyes haven’t seen nor my ears have heard ALL that God has planned for me.  There is so much more and it is worth fighting for.  I am fight the good fight!  God’s grace and mercy will carry me, you, your children, and anyone else in need, through the valley.  God’s grace and mercy is sufficient! 

The next time you are in the “Valley” – and there will be a next time - remember that’s when God will communicate to/with you most.  Don’t look for too many others to be there with/for you because you will be let down.  Most people are living in spiritual poverty.  God just may have taken you to the “Valley” so that He can use you to encourage others – but you must first learn how to Encourage Yourself!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbEaftzaFWA 

More importantly, in the midst of journeying through the “Valley,”  praise God anyhow for nothing happens unless God allows it; and God allows all things for our good and for His glory.

Heavenly Father…

Great is your mercy towards me!

Your love and kindness toward me!

Your tender mercies I see day after day!

Always providing for me

Great is your mercies toward me!