Never Would Have Made It - Without Him

It has almost been a year since I blogged; and so much has happened.  However, by the grace of God, I can say I made it in and am able to write to you today.  Happy New Year 2023!  I pray God will open up the flood gates of Heaven and shower you with divine blessings - so many and so much that there will be an overflow.  I pray you will feel his presence and unconditional love.

I walk into this new year knowing that I never would have made it - without God.  I know that God has plans for me - better than I have for myself.  I pray God's will be done in my life and He will strengthen me where I am weak.  I pray his light shine through me to brighten up lives of others.  May God continue to strengthen and empower me so that I may empower those who are welcoming.  I pray the same for you.  God is our strength - strength like no other and has so much love, power, and perfect peace that He wants to pour into us.  We have to be open to receive.  

In our weakest moment, God will not let us fall.  He will answer when we call.  You can call Him in the morning, call Him in the noonday, and you can call Him when the sun goes down - He will be there!  God is our strength! I pray you are encouraged!  

ARE WE LIVING IN THE LAST DAYS?

ARE WE LIVING IN THE LAST DAYS?

Racism is just plain evil and it creates a lot of the chaos we are witnessing and experiencing. Young people disrespecting the elderly and/or their parents is evil. Violence is evil. But some things must come to pass to fulfill the words of God - which doesn't return void. Don't be so distracted with all that you see going around you that you don't handle your personal business in connecting and forming a relationship with God. The bottom line....there is a spiritual war going on between good and evil

The Bible tells us: Matthew 24:6 King James Version (KJV) 6 And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.

Matthew 10:21 “Brother will hand over brother to death; a father will hand over his child. Children will rebel against their parents and kill them."

WHAT ARE YOU CALLED TO DO?

The Bible also tells us: 2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV - “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2015/10/22/top-7-bible-verses-about-end-times-or-the-last-days/





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNBDCAeOiWs&list=RDYNBDCAeOiWs#t=0

Listen to Understand. Listen to Promote Movement. Do You Hear What the Children Are Saying?

C.J. graduated from 5th grade this week.  My how time is truly flying!  I started thinking about how unique he is and referenced some of the challenges and hurdles he has overcome.  I thought about when he was nine-years old and how he needed to urgently discuss his day at school.  The first two days, I listened intently -  mostly to allow him to vent. However, I presented a few questions and then left the two issues alone.

On the third day, upon picking both boys up, C.J. immediately began to vent.  I learned C.J. had a really rough day - both at school and the after-school program.  Listening to him talk and watching his body language, I knew this, definitely, was a teachable moment.  Upon leaving, one of the workers encouraged C.J. and told him "never allow anyone to treat you bad or do things to you just to fit in with the crowd."  While riding home, I explained to C.J. what his options were and decided to support him in the option his chose by attending a meeting at his request.  I went to school with him the next morning to talk with the teacher, but ended up speaking with the Principal. It appeared to have gone well and there was a plan for C.J. to talk with the teacher a little later.

I later received a call from the teacher.  She assured me that she wanted to have a positive working relationship; but C.J. wasn't willing to let it all go and start with a clean slate. Upon picking him up from the after-school program, I was given a letter by staff.  On the ride home, I asked C.J. why wasn't he willing to let it all go and start with a clean slate at school. His response, "Grandma, they acted differently when you were there that morning.  But in the meeting that afternoon, they kept saying I didn't hear it correctly, when I know what I heard and I know what was done."

Perception is everything - even if it is through the eyes of a child. I was able to help C.J. transition through his emotions and not be stuck.  I explained to him what his priority should be - which is to go to school and learn.  I also explained what happens when we are distracted.  I also told him that as an adult, I too sometimes experience situations such as he had.  But, we must learn to keep moving and not be emotional hijacked.

After arriving home, I discovered a pleasant surprise.  The young man whom had bullied C.J. while at the after-school program had written me a letter of apology.  I had C.J. to read it to me so that he could see what the young man had written.  I am thankful for old-school parents whom hold their children accountable and teaches them to take responsibility for their actions.  I sent the young man a thank you letter.  The letter aided in helping C.J. to keep moving.

Parents - How Are You Behaving and What Are You Saying to Your Children?

Recently, I was having a conversation with a subject matter expert referencing parenting; and personally, it took me back to my childhood and as a single parent.  As I began to remove my masks referencing my life, I am thankful for the memories of my father being in my life, but saw that quickly vanish after he and my mother ceased dating.  I recalled some of my experiences, as a result.  The cycle repeated itself with me as a parent.  I am thankful for vowing to never play tug-a-war with my children and never talk bad about their father.  However, my personal experiences led me to ponder several questions.

1.  Do children have a decision-making voice with    parents?   

2.  Why are children used as tug-a-war objects?

3.  Are we aware of the derogatory impact on the       child when there is division between parents?

4.  How did the absence of my Father impact my       life?

As the conversation continued, Mr. Robert Simmons, Life Coach and organizer of a community father support group, mentioned the word "parental alienation" and asked me to do further research.  I did; and found it most informative and empowering.   I hope this blog information will be used for the greater good of your child.    

Parental alienation

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Parental alienation is the process, and the result, of the psychological manipulation of a child into showing unwarranted fear, disrespect or hostility towards a parent or other family members.^[1][2] It is a distinctive and widespread form of psychological abuse and family violence—towards both the child and the rejected family members—that occurs almost exclusively in association with family separation or divorce (particularly where legal action is involved)^[3] and that undermines core principles of both the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. Most commonly, the primary cause is a parent wishing to exclude another parent from the life of their child, but other family members or friends, as well as professionals involved with the family (including psychologists, lawyers and judges), may contribute significantly to the process.^[1][4] It often leads to the long-term, or even permanent, estrangement of a child from one parent and other family members^[5] and, as a particularly adverse childhood experience, results in significantly increased risks of both mental and physical illness for children.

Please read and seriously think about the content within the links.  Remove your masks - yes I said masks-  and self-assess.  We all wear them in the forms of roles, emotions, or positions.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201304/the-impact-parental-alienation-children

https://www.parentalalienation.com/articles/symptoms-parental-alienation.html

Note:   Robert Simmons' fathers' parent support groups are currently held each Monday.  He may be reached at rlssimm84@gmail.com.  

It All Starts Within the Mind

We are all created with a brain.  The brain is a decision-making machine.  It is stated that each time we learn something, a wrinkle pops up on the brain.  Within the brain is housed the mind.  The mind is the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think, and to feel; the faculty of consciousness and thought.  But I wonder....Was our mind empty space when we were birth into the world? Empty space is still a place...a place to be filled.  Filled with whatever you allow.  What are you filling your space with? What happens when we choose to think negative thoughts, gossip, and become bitter or angry?  What does it doe to our emotions, body, or life?  Does it create stress and other sickness?  Is it time to purge?  Is it time to make a change.  A changed mindset brings about a changed life.

As Christians, we have a new nature, which is the nature of God deposited in us at the New Birth. God’s spirit, a new heart, and new mind was given to us.

Romans 8:6 speaks of the mind of the flesh and the mind of the Spirit. There is a war going on within ourselves.   EXAMPLE: Let’s say I’m thinking about an injustice I suffered because of another person and I began to get angry. I start thinking about how much I dislike that person. I get tensed, stressed out, get a headache, face become distorted, tired, blood pressure up……….and many of us stop speaking to others for the rest of our or their lives.  That's what you call being stuck.

Many of us are stuck, within bondage within our own minds! Fighting ourselves...holding ourselves in bondage...in slavery.   Often, thinking and even saying, "I can't"!   You have stayed there long enough.  Remember the Israelites in the wilderness.  Took a trip that was suppose to have taken 3 days, but instead took 40 years.  The Lord our God said to us in Horeb, you have dwelt long enough. It’s time to move on! Deuteronomy 1:6

I am saying to you today.  If you are stuck in a rut, it's time to come out.  Do something different! Move on!  Be empowered!

http://nebula.wsimg.com/929178b4d326d6adaad3b6db3f08afaa?AccessKeyId=D19A2924B9B3A1E59682&disposition=0&alloworigin=1

GOOD NEWS!!!!!
You Got Options!

CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
•Telephone number: 1800 PRAYER
•Prayer is communication with God
•Extension: Jesus is on the mainline!
•Jesus is all you need. He’s sitting on the right hand side of God as an Intercessor.


• “Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them” (Hebrews 7:25).



Resources:

Battlefield of the Mind

http://www.target.com/p/battlefield-of-the-mind-winning-battle-in-your-study-guide-paperback-joyce-meyer/-/A-11825048?lnk=rec|pdpipadexsrch|related_prods_vv|pdpipadexsrch|11825048|1

The mind within the brain -- how we make decisions | David Redish | TEDxUMN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Iuc5ufbirM

Racial Disparity in the School: What's the Problem?

My last post expressed "It's time for change! I am thankful to God for the issue, school racial disparities, finally being addressed and I am expecting major change! If one has not /walked in the shoes of parents and students impacted within the posted topic, you may not understand or agree with this post. If you care and seek understanding, thank you! I must also say, I have utmost respect for educators; but we do have serious issues which need to be corrected within our schools systems - some process and some personnel. I acknowledge there are some great teachers who genuinely care about their students; and they should be role model teachers, but the fact remains every educator does not have your child's best interest. You can tell by their actions...even your child can tell if you ask them. Based on the attached article, we (parents, teachers, community) have some work to do!

In response to the attached article, may I first suggest that one of the targeted solutions be to improve treatment of the student i.e. relationship building and communication. Perhaps more cultural diversity training. Please focus on the whole child more. Stop the power struggling and provoking the children - especially when there are already issues. Some children are angry and defiant for a reason...reasons which we should be helping them and teaching them how to overcome. May I also suggest a system be implemented where students can grade the teachers...as a check and balance? At least you will give the student a voice and you could possibly learn where there should be process improvement. Develop a more inclusive system for parental school function participation. Perhaps one way to start is respecting the parents a little more - stop talking down to us dismissing our input. We can all learn from one another. The attached article made me think of my most recent experiences It most definitely took me back twenty years to my past experience as a parent, addressed in a published book, A Mother's Cry: He's Still My Child. Signed copies are available for order ($20.00 + $2 shipping cost) at website, PEP247.com.

In addition, I would like to suggest there be a revisit and retraining on writing incident reports. In example, WHY in the world would one write an incident report and include "sexual harassment" accusation for a kindergartner? Is it written this way for all children when one try to kiss a little girl? WHY in the world would one write an incident report labeling a child aggressive and committing assault before a complete investigation is done; and after parent's request to view the bus video that clearly shows opposite, why is there is no addendum made to the incident report? Why would an educator place a student's desk facing the wall, excluded from all other students and the main position of teaching - without discussion with the parent? Is it right to to encourage a student to play with an Ouija board and make him go into the hallway after he refuses? Is it right for a teacher to tell a student, "get out of my classroom, I don't want to see your face for an hour," and then follow him to the hallway and shut the book he is reading? How does it impact the student? Is it right for a teacher to grab a student by his wrist and tell him, "I heard what you told your grandmother, ...you are just a confused little boy." How does it impact the student? How is a child impacted after attempting to advocate for himself by expressing, "I don't like to be touched" (a trigger) while being pushed out of the classroom - only to hear the teacher reply, "and I don't like smart mouth children." How is a child impacted when there are issues he is already trying to deal with? Can a student focus on learning and making the best grades possible? Perception is everything. Actions like these leave one to think there are some systematic inside actions for feeding the school-to-prison pipelines.

Don't get me wrong. I do realize teacher are sometimes pushed to their limits, they have feelings and emotions, and no one should have to go through verbal abuse or physical abuse from a student or parent. However, the more we respond instead of react, the better outcome. In fact, if we learn to look at the whole student, learn who the whole student is, we may be able to take advantage of missed opportunities to truly teach the student. Teachers have authority and they can make or break a student. Students will give up, hate school, drop out - all because of treatment from a teacher. If we, as parents, teachers, and students are all angry and frustrated, then we can't make our school system better...we can't close the gaps...we can't decrease the school-to-prison pipeline.

PARENTS, you play THE major part. Don't expect for teachers to do what we should do as parents. Nurture and teach your children respect, self-control, and manners. Make sure homework is done. Help the students. We are our children's first and best teachers. Meet with the teachers, especially if there are concerns. If there are issues between teachers and students, try working it out. You have options. Request to have your student placed in another classroom to see if it makes a difference. If problems doesn't work out, meet with the student/community liaisons and the Superintendent or school board. Write letters to your Board of Education, Congressman, or Senators. Call media. Learn your rights. Request the student and parent's right handbooks. Read the incident reports and request an addendum, when applicable or write a rebuttle and request it to be attached to the incident report. View or request your children's school records. Talk to your children about their school day. Take responsibility and become more involved in YOUR children's educational journey, IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN'S FUTURE. The children are our future.

No! None of us are perfect, but we do have a responsibility to our children, to the students. There is a reason that are children are failing. There is a reason that our children are angry and aggressive. There is a cause to the affect we are witnessing. Let's start watching, asking, and try to determine the root causes. Parents, Educators, Community members, we MUST come together for the good of the children...the students, for when one hurt, the whole community hurt - one way or another. It's like spiders in a web, anyway you touch the web, it will tremble and we will ALL be affected. Our students are failing. We are failing our students. Please review the articles below.

http://mountainx.com/news/asheville-city-schools-take-aim-at-racial-disparities/a



Unacceptable:

http://www.ajc.com/news/national/teacher-has-white-students-sell-black-student-mock-slave-auction/UgjKG2N0SD2804MYCqJ6FJ/

Tears of Sorry...Voices of Anger - It's Time for Change!

Tears of Sorry...Voices of Anger - It's Time for Change!                              

By: Priscilla R. Ndiaye, MSML

       Published Author of A Mother’s Cry: He’s Still My Child

Within this first week of July 2016, nationwide - many mothers’ children are dead

Rumors, perceptions, and facts dispelled everywhere

In the midst, visuals and wordings of anger glares

I could only imagine what the victims have left unsaid

Asheville, NC – Jai “Jerry” Williams possibly cried

My hands are up – my child is in this car – don’t shoot

Please don’t place that gun by my side

Why did you let my body lie in the street so long?

Is it procedural or to insight fear in those looking on?

How many 911 calls were made and why didn’t I receive immediate medical care?

Hands off!  That’s my father.  Put down those rifles! Don’t wrestle him to the ground! 

Listen to the cries!  Do you hear the wailing?  Are you even in touch with the sounds?

Increasing the anger…WHY, for so long, did you just leave me lying there -

My lifeless, bloody body - riddled with your bullets --- for people to stare?

Children watching – some saying… “His soul left his body.”

Baton Rouge, LA – Could it be that Alton Sterling hollers

You’ve slammed me to the ground, I’m on my back

Take the gun from my chest – I’m only selling CDs -trying to make a dollar

Stop!  Don’t shoot – my son is watching - in instilled-for-life fear

Please don’t let him witness this – branding the rest of his life and filling it with tears

St. Paul, MN – Philando Castile – Following the rules – I did everything right

I have no criminal records. I’m carrying a licensed gun, as you requested, here’s my I.D.

Officer, Sir, didn’t know the tail light was broken, please don’t shoot me

My fiancé and child are here, please don’t shoot me

Live streamed, as mother cried, we can hear his little girl say, “It’s o.k., I’m here with you.”

Children so innocent – scarred for life – are these scenes in their future too?

Stop the violence – by each other and those hired to protect!  What is it that we need to do?

In spite of stereotyping, we’re not ALL bad people – we love our families and want to live

Dallas, TX – ambush suspect shooter, Micha Xavier Johnson – deranged - outraged - yelled

Stop killing my brothers! – I’m fed up – Can’t take it no more – by my actions - can you tell?

Ambushed …slain…in the line of duty Sworn to protect, policing for your safety -  

Community servants!  Fathers!  Husbands!  Wife!  Ex-military members!  Somebody’s child…

Twelve officers and others gunned down  - five officers dead

I wonder what they, too, left unsaid

“Living my dream being a police officer”

We’re not ALL bad cops – we love community, and a feeling of being safe want to give

We’re humans– with families– fear for our safety, and we, too, want to live

As the world watches and listens, what do we see, feel and hear?

Racial tension? Hatred?  Division? Payback? Just doing my job? Fear?

Graphic videos.  Live streamed. 

Tragedy!  So much bloodshed!

Mourning! Many on edge.                                             

Emotions hijacked!

Anger!  Outrage! 

Black lives – all lives matter!

Protest!   Rallies!  Marches! Vigils!

No justice no peace!

Flags and flowers to the fallen

He’s wrong… they’re wrong…

What’s really going on?

Lethal use of force – violence –darkness - the current pulse of the environment

“I want to see what yall did to my baby”

“Oh my God – please don’t tell me he’s dead!”

“It hurts to see what’s going on – stop the violence!”

“Nobody should have to be taken away from their families.”

“She loves her dad – very much.”

"We are scared of the police probably more than we are scared of the people in our community," 

"We don't feel safe at all,”

Nationwide, mother’s fearing for the sons, society fearing for their lives

What can we do to build a bond of peace and reconciliation?

We ALL love our family members

Too many African-Americans dying at the hands of police – not held accountable

Outrage – fear across the country – cold-blooded murder during the day and night

All of this killing just isn’t right

Do we want to gain understanding and bring about change?

Time to take a hard look at self, policies, and procedures

National discussions are in order – through respect and listening ears

It’s time to stop the madness… the evil… and decrease the tears

Fundamental issues need to be addressed

Fear from both sides.  Why? 

Community members not supporting or trusting police officers.  Why?

Where can we decrease or neutralize bias, and build trust?

What are the trigger points?

Is it the racial profiling and disrespect?

Let’s talk about it!

Let’s create a list of mutual rules?

How can we survive – let’s stop looking like fools?

Look at the statistics!

Since 2013, violent crime in Asheville's Housing Authority's developments has gone up 24 percent, according to data from the Asheville Police Department.

6% population -  40% unarmed  -killed by cops according to national statistics

Can we all get along?  Build positive relationships?  Stop the violence?

Can we focus on nurturing our children, making this place a better world?

Can we, collectively, establish checks and balances, and processes of accountability?

Much critical conversation is needed?  Let’s make it happen!  Step up leaders and arrange!

People are dying senseless deaths.  No more excuses!  It’s time for change!

Prayers go out for the families, communities, deceased and those fighting for their lives.

My final thought:  Maybe God is trying to tell us something, uncovering things to the light

Through differences, division, and hatred, let it be known as it has been shown

ALL lives matter!

 “Darkness can not drive out darkness – only light can do that.”  Martin Luther King, Jr.