Monday, August 14, 2017

ARE WE LIVING IN THE LAST DAYS?

ARE WE LIVING IN THE LAST DAYS?

Racism is just plain evil and it creates a lot of the chaos we are witnessing and experiencing. Young people disrespecting the elderly and/or their parents is evil. Violence is evil. But some things must come to pass to fulfill the words of God - which doesn't return void. Don't be so distracted with all that you see going around you that you don't handle your personal business in connecting and forming a relationship with God. The bottom line....there is a spiritual war going on between good and evil


The Bible tells us: Matthew 24:6 King James Version (KJV) 6 And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.


Matthew 10:21 “Brother will hand over brother to death; a father will hand over his child. Children will rebel against their parents and kill them."


WHAT ARE YOU CALLED TO DO?

The Bible also tells us: 2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV - “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”


http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2015/10/22/top-7-bible-verses-about-end-times-or-the-last-days/





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNBDCAeOiWs&list=RDYNBDCAeOiWs#t=0





Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Listen to Understand. Listen to Promote Movement. Do You Hear What the Children Are Saying?

C.J. graduated from 5th grade this week.  My how time is truly flying!  I started thinking about how unique he is and referenced some of the challenges and hurdles he has overcome.  I thought about when he was nine-years old and how he needed to urgently discuss his day at school.  The first two days, I listened intently -  mostly to allow him to vent. However, I presented a few questions and then left the two issues alone.

On the third day, upon picking both boys up, C.J. immediately began to vent.  I learned C.J. had a really rough day - both at school and the after-school program.  Listening to him talk and watching his body language, I knew this, definitely, was a teachable moment.  Upon leaving, one of the workers encouraged C.J. and told him "never allow anyone to treat you bad or do things to you just to fit in with the crowd."  While riding home, I explained to C.J. what his options were and decided to support him in the option his chose by attending a meeting at his request.  I went to school with him the next morning to talk with the teacher, but ended up speaking with the Principal. It appeared to have gone well and there was a plan for C.J. to talk with the teacher a little later.

I later received a call from the teacher.  She assured me that she wanted to have a positive working relationship; but C.J. wasn't willing to let it all go and start with a clean slate. Upon picking him up from the after-school program, I was given a letter by staff.  On the ride home, I asked C.J. why wasn't he willing to let it all go and start with a clean slate at school. His response, "Grandma, they acted differently when you were there that morning.  But in the meeting that afternoon, they kept saying I didn't hear it correctly, when I know what I heard and I know what was done."

Perception is everything - even if it is through the eyes of a child. I was able to help C.J. transition through his emotions and not be stuck.  I explained to him what his priority should be - which is to go to school and learn.  I also explained what happens when we are distracted.  I also told him that as an adult, I too sometimes experience situations such as he had.  But, we must learn to keep moving and not be emotional hijacked.

After arriving home, I discovered a pleasant surprise.  The young man whom had bullied C.J. while at the after-school program had written me a letter of apology.  I had C.J. to read it to me so that he could see what the young man had written.  I am thankful for old-school parents whom hold their children accountable and teaches them to take responsibility for their actions.  I sent the young man a thank you letter.  The letter aided in helping C.J. to keep moving.

Parents - How Are You Behaving and What Are You Saying to Your Children?

Recently, I was having a conversation with a subject matter expert referencing parenting; and personally, it took me back to my childhood and as a single parent.  As I began to remove my masks referencing my life, I am thankful for the memories of my father being in my life, but saw that quickly vanish after he and my mother ceased dating.  I recalled some of my experiences, as a result.  The cycle repeated itself with me as a parent.  I am thankful for vowing to never play tug-a-war with my children and never talk bad about their father.  However, my personal experiences led me to ponder several questions.


1.  Do children have a decision-making voice with    parents?   
2.  Why are children used as tug-a-war objects?
3.  Are we aware of the derogatory impact on the       child when there is division between parents?
4.  How did the absence of my Father impact my       life?




As the conversation continued, Mr. Robert Simmons, Life Coach and organizer of a community father support group, mentioned the word "parental alienation" and asked me to do further research.  I did; and found it most informative and empowering.   I hope this blog information will be used for the greater good of your child.    


Parental alienation
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Parental alienation is the process, and the result, of the psychological manipulation of a child into showing unwarranted fear, disrespect or hostility towards a parent or other family members.[1][2] It is a distinctive and widespread form of psychological abuse and family violence—towards both the child and the rejected family members—that occurs almost exclusively in association with family separation or divorce (particularly where legal action is involved)[3] and that undermines core principles of both the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. Most commonly, the primary cause is a parent wishing to exclude another parent from the life of their child, but other family members or friends, as well as professionals involved with the family (including psychologists, lawyers and judges), may contribute significantly to the process.[1][4] It often leads to the long-term, or even permanent, estrangement of a child from one parent and other family members[5] and, as a particularly adverse childhood experience, results in significantly increased risks of both mental and physical illness for children.

Please read and seriously think about the content within the links.  Remove your masks - yes I said masks-  and self-assess.  We all wear them in the forms of roles, emotions, or positions.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201304/the-impact-parental-alienation-children










Note:   Robert Simmons' fathers' parent support groups are currently held each Monday.  He may be reached at rlssimm84@gmail.com.  

Saturday, March 25, 2017

It All Starts Within the Mind

We are all created with a brain.  The brain is a decision-making machine.  It is stated that each time we learn something, a wrinkle pops up on the brain.  Within the brain is housed the mind.  The mind is the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think, and to feel; the faculty of consciousness and thought.  But I wonder....Was our mind empty space when we were birth into the world? Empty space is still a place...a place to be filled.  Filled with whatever you allow.  What are you filling your space with? What happens when we choose to think negative thoughts, gossip, and become bitter or angry?  What does it doe to our emotions, body, or life?  Does it create stress and other sickness?  Is it time to purge?  Is it time to make a change.  A changed mindset brings about a changed life.





As Christians, we have a new nature, which is the nature of God deposited in us at the New Birth. God’s spirit, a new heart, and new mind was given to us.

Romans 8:6 speaks of the mind of the flesh and the mind of the Spirit. There is a war going on within ourselves.   EXAMPLE: Let’s say I’m thinking about an injustice I suffered because of another person and I began to get angry. I start thinking about how much I dislike that person. I get tensed, stressed out, get a headache, face become distorted, tired, blood pressure up……….and many of us stop speaking to others for the rest of our or their lives.  That's what you call being stuck.

Many of us are stuck, within bondage within our own minds! Fighting ourselves...holding ourselves in bondage...in slavery.   Often, thinking and even saying, "I can't"!   You have stayed there long enough.  Remember the Israelites in the wilderness.  Took a trip that was suppose to have taken 3 days, but instead took 40 years.  The Lord our God said to us in Horeb, you have dwelt long enough. It’s time to move on! Deuteronomy 1:6

I am saying to you today.  If you are stuck in a rut, it's time to come out.  Do something different! Move on!  Be empowered!


GOOD NEWS!!!!!
You Got Options!

CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
•Telephone number: 1800 PRAYER
•Prayer is communication with God
•Extension: Jesus is on the mainline!
•Jesus is all you need. He’s sitting on the right hand side of God as an Intercessor.


• “Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them” (Hebrews 7:25).



Resources:

Battlefield of the Mind



The mind within the brain -- how we make decisions | David Redish | TEDxUMN

Racial Disparity in the School: What's the Problem?

My last post expressed "It's time for change! I am thankful to God for the issue, school racial disparities, finally being addressed and I am expecting major change! If one has not /walked in the shoes of parents and students impacted within the posted topic, you may not understand or agree with this post. If you care and seek understanding, thank you! I must also say, I have utmost respect for educators; but we do have serious issues which need to be corrected within our schools systems - some process and some personnel. I acknowledge there are some great teachers who genuinely care about their students; and they should be role model teachers, but the fact remains every educator does not have your child's best interest. You can tell by their actions...even your child can tell if you ask them. Based on the attached article, we (parents, teachers, community) have some work to do!

In response to the attached article, may I first suggest that one of the targeted solutions be to improve treatment of the student i.e. relationship building and communication. Perhaps more cultural diversity training. Please focus on the whole child more. Stop the power struggling and provoking the children - especially when there are already issues. Some children are angry and defiant for a reason...reasons which we should be helping them and teaching them how to overcome. May I also suggest a system be implemented where students can grade the teachers...as a check and balance? At least you will give the student a voice and you could possibly learn where there should be process improvement. Develop a more inclusive system for parental school function participation. Perhaps one way to start is respecting the parents a little more - stop talking down to us dismissing our input. We can all learn from one another. The attached article made me think of my most recent experiences It most definitely took me back twenty years to my past experience as a parent, addressed in a published book, A Mother's Cry: He's Still My Child. Signed copies are available for order ($20.00 + $2 shipping cost) at website, PEP247.com.

In addition, I would like to suggest there be a revisit and retraining on writing incident reports. In example, WHY in the world would one write an incident report and include "sexual harassment" accusation for a kindergartner? Is it written this way for all children when one try to kiss a little girl? WHY in the world would one write an incident report labeling a child aggressive and committing assault before a complete investigation is done; and after parent's request to view the bus video that clearly shows opposite, why is there is no addendum made to the incident report? Why would an educator place a student's desk facing the wall, excluded from all other students and the main position of teaching - without discussion with the parent? Is it right to to encourage a student to play with an Ouija board and make him go into the hallway after he refuses? Is it right for a teacher to tell a student, "get out of my classroom, I don't want to see your face for an hour," and then follow him to the hallway and shut the book he is reading? How does it impact the student? Is it right for a teacher to grab a student by his wrist and tell him, "I heard what you told your grandmother, ...you are just a confused little boy." How does it impact the student? How is a child impacted after attempting to advocate for himself by expressing, "I don't like to be touched" (a trigger) while being pushed out of the classroom - only to hear the teacher reply, "and I don't like smart mouth children." How is a child impacted when there are issues he is already trying to deal with? Can a student focus on learning and making the best grades possible? Perception is everything. Actions like these leave one to think there are some systematic inside actions for feeding the school-to-prison pipelines.

Don't get me wrong. I do realize teacher are sometimes pushed to their limits, they have feelings and emotions, and no one should have to go through verbal abuse or physical abuse from a student or parent. However, the more we respond instead of react, the better outcome. In fact, if we learn to look at the whole student, learn who the whole student is, we may be able to take advantage of missed opportunities to truly teach the student. Teachers have authority and they can make or break a student. Students will give up, hate school, drop out - all because of treatment from a teacher. If we, as parents, teachers, and students are all angry and frustrated, then we can't make our school system better...we can't close the gaps...we can't decrease the school-to-prison pipeline.

PARENTS, you play THE major part. Don't expect for teachers to do what we should do as parents. Nurture and teach your children respect, self-control, and manners. Make sure homework is done. Help the students. We are our children's first and best teachers. Meet with the teachers, especially if there are concerns. If there are issues between teachers and students, try working it out. You have options. Request to have your student placed in another classroom to see if it makes a difference. If problems doesn't work out, meet with the student/community liaisons and the Superintendent or school board. Write letters to your Board of Education, Congressman, or Senators. Call media. Learn your rights. Request the student and parent's right handbooks. Read the incident reports and request an addendum, when applicable or write a rebuttle and request it to be attached to the incident report. View or request your children's school records. Talk to your children about their school day. Take responsibility and become more involved in YOUR children's educational journey, IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN'S FUTURE. The children are our future.

No! None of us are perfect, but we do have a responsibility to our children, to the students. There is a reason that are children are failing. There is a reason that our children are angry and aggressive. There is a cause to the affect we are witnessing. Let's start watching, asking, and try to determine the root causes. Parents, Educators, Community members, we MUST come together for the good of the children...the students, for when one hurt, the whole community hurt - one way or another. It's like spiders in a web, anyway you touch the web, it will tremble and we will ALL be affected. Our students are failing. We are failing our students. Please review the articles below.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Tears of Sorry...Voices of Anger - It's Time for Change!

Tears of Sorry...Voices of Anger - It's Time for Change!                              

By: Priscilla R. Ndiaye, MSML
       Published Author of A Mother’s Cry: He’s Still My Child

Within this first week of July 2016, nationwide - many mothers’ children are dead
Rumors, perceptions, and facts dispelled everywhere
In the midst, visuals and wordings of anger glares
I could only imagine what the victims have left unsaid

Asheville, NC – Jai “Jerry” Williams possibly cried
My hands are up – my child is in this car – don’t shoot
Please don’t place that gun by my side
Why did you let my body lie in the street so long?
Is it procedural or to insight fear in those looking on?
How many 911 calls were made and why didn’t I receive immediate medical care?
Hands off!  That’s my father.  Put down those rifles! Don’t wrestle him to the ground! 
Listen to the cries!  Do you hear the wailing?  Are you even in touch with the sounds?
Increasing the anger…WHY, for so long, did you just leave me lying there -
My lifeless, bloody body - riddled with your bullets --- for people to stare?
Children watching – some saying… “His soul left his body.”

Baton Rouge, LA – Could it be that Alton Sterling hollers
You’ve slammed me to the ground, I’m on my back
Take the gun from my chest – I’m only selling CDs -trying to make a dollar
Stop!  Don’t shoot – my son is watching - in instilled-for-life fear
Please don’t let him witness this – branding the rest of his life and filling it with tears

St. Paul, MN – Philando Castile – Following the rules – I did everything right
I have no criminal records. I’m carrying a licensed gun, as you requested, here’s my I.D.
Officer, Sir, didn’t know the tail light was broken, please don’t shoot me
My fiancĂ© and child are here, please don’t shoot me
Live streamed, as mother cried, we can hear his little girl say, “It’s o.k., I’m here with you.”
Children so innocent – scarred for life – are these scenes in their future too?
Stop the violence – by each other and those hired to protect!  What is it that we need to do?
In spite of stereotyping, we’re not ALL bad people – we love our families and want to live

Dallas, TX – ambush suspect shooter, Micha Xavier Johnson – deranged - outraged - yelled
Stop killing my brothers! – I’m fed up – Can’t take it no more – by my actions - can you tell?

Ambushed …slain…in the line of duty Sworn to protect, policing for your safety -  
Community servants!  Fathers!  Husbands!  Wife!  Ex-military members!  Somebody’s child…
Twelve officers and others gunned down  - five officers dead
I wonder what they, too, left unsaid
“Living my dream being a police officer”
We’re not ALL bad cops – we love community, and a feeling of being safe want to give
We’re humans– with families– fear for our safety, and we, too, want to live

As the world watches and listens, what do we see, feel and hear?
Racial tension? Hatred?  Division? Payback? Just doing my job? Fear?
Graphic videos.  Live streamed. 
Tragedy!  So much bloodshed!
Mourning! Many on edge.                                             
Emotions hijacked!
Anger!  Outrage! 
Black lives – all lives matter!
Protest!   Rallies!  Marches! Vigils!
No justice no peace!
Flags and flowers to the fallen
He’s wrong… they’re wrong…
What’s really going on?

Lethal use of force – violence –darkness - the current pulse of the environment
“I want to see what yall did to my baby”
“Oh my God – please don’t tell me he’s dead!”
“It hurts to see what’s going on – stop the violence!”
“Nobody should have to be taken away from their families.”
“She loves her dad – very much.”
"We are scared of the police probably more than we are scared of the people in our community," 
"We don't feel safe at all,”
Nationwide, mother’s fearing for the sons, society fearing for their lives
What can we do to build a bond of peace and reconciliation?
We ALL love our family members
Too many African-Americans dying at the hands of police – not held accountable
Outrage – fear across the country – cold-blooded murder during the day and night
All of this killing just isn’t right

Do we want to gain understanding and bring about change?
Time to take a hard look at self, policies, and procedures
National discussions are in order – through respect and listening ears
It’s time to stop the madness… the evil… and decrease the tears
Fundamental issues need to be addressed
Fear from both sides.  Why? 
Community members not supporting or trusting police officers.  Why?
Where can we decrease or neutralize bias, and build trust?
What are the trigger points?
Is it the racial profiling and disrespect?
Let’s talk about it!
Let’s create a list of mutual rules?
How can we survive – let’s stop looking like fools?
Look at the statistics!
Since 2013, violent crime in Asheville's Housing Authority's developments has gone up 24 percent, according to data from the Asheville Police Department.
6% population -  40% unarmed  -killed by cops according to national statistics
Can we all get along?  Build positive relationships?  Stop the violence?
Can we focus on nurturing our children, making this place a better world?
Can we, collectively, establish checks and balances, and processes of accountability?
Much critical conversation is needed?  Let’s make it happen!  Step up leaders and arrange!
People are dying senseless deaths.  No more excuses!  It’s time for change!

Prayers go out for the families, communities, deceased and those fighting for their lives.
My final thought:  Maybe God is trying to tell us something, uncovering things to the light
Through differences, division, and hatred, let it be known as it has been shown
ALL lives matter!


 “Darkness can not drive out darkness – only light can do that.”  Martin Luther King, Jr.

Saturday, June 11, 2016

CHAOS EVERYWHERE! WHAT’S GOING ON? Fire Monkey? Fiery Darts? Roaring Lion?

My heart is heavy.  I have noticed that there is a more intense and hostile environment in the world.  More people are blowing their cool, angry, road raging, killing, disrespectful, greedy, misusing authority, deceitful, and etc.  My grandmother used to say “people start acting out of character and out of order when the weather gets hotter.”  I am sure police blotters/statistics can prove it right or wrong.  One of my sons told me while driving down the road a couple of days ago, he came upon six grown men on the in the middle of the street -on the ground fighting.  His passenger wanted to sit and watch.  My son quickly turned the car around – out of harms’ way.  He told his rider, “Either of those guys can pull a gun and start shooting at any time.  Bullets don’t have eyes.”  Another one of my grandmother’s saying.
Prior to my conversation with my son, I was talking with an Attorney.  I made a comment about something being in the air because people are so angry, disrespectful, and uncaring.  With a sense of excitement, the Attorney stated, “We were just having this conversation in our office.  When I mentioned that there is so much chaos and tension in the court house.  One of the other Attorneys told me it is the year of the fire monkey.” 
Fire monkey?  I became curious as to what exactly this is.  I found this:  "Year of the Red Fire Monkey is based on Chinese belief (Astrology) and technically began February 8, 2016 and will go through Friday, January 27, 2017 under the power of the Sun.   This time will bring the sparkling energy.  Under the influence of elemental Fire and the Monkey's fixed element of Metal, it's an era of building, creating and forging ahead. We're hurdling obstacles with remarkable ease and reaching for the stars. It's a year of blazing opportunity and wild passions, a roller-coaster ride of the senses, and sometimes all you can do is hang on and surrender to the journey!
It's best to take nothing for granted. The Monkey is wise but also unpredictable, and given to bouts of jealousy, suspicion or temper tantrums. Trust is difficult this year. Nonetheless, you may recall that the Space Age officially began in 1956, a Fire Monkey year. Expect to see innovative developments in the sciences, technology, education, commerce and the performance arts."
I don’t know what your belief or attitude is, but I do know what my belief is. The manifestation of your life is a reflection of what you are listening to, what you are reading, and what you believe. In order for you to get the best out of your life, you must fill your mind with positive information that promotes self-responsibility.  It is my responsibility to guard myself against any chaos.  It is also my responsibility to teach my children, grandchildren, and others. I do so with a focus on putting on the whole armor of God.  Ephesians 6.  
It is apparent that there is a tremendous amount of chaos everywhere, and it doesn’t appear to be slowing down anytime soon.  We are in spiritual warfare.  Many of us have such busy lives; and in these times trouble seems to be always knocking at our door. Our lives are affected by divorce, finances, violence, death, and many other situations of life. 
Looking from a spiritual perspective, some may call this activity attacks from the enemy with fiery darts piercing you from all directions; and others say it’s the devil roaring like a lion seeking whom it may devour.  When you look at your life and everything coming your way, you can see that now is the time to go on the offensive. Now is not the time to be sitting around being an easy target and waddling in self-pity.  It’s time to put on the whole armor of God!  Make your environment conducive for something miraculous to happen. Because you can become a product of your environment, your environment is key. Everyday remind yourself that you are a person of purpose and destiny. Stand on the platform of life and declare that you were born to make a difference in the earth. If you are not seeing the outcomes you want in your life, change your thinking and inner circle, walk boldly with faith in God, and make good things happen!

Let every decision you make going forward be connected to your God-given purpose and destiny. Your thoughts are crucial in this season. Your destiny is sitting on the tip of your very own tongue. The Bible says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." (Proverbs 18:21). You can defy the odds and make it happen for yourself and your household.  Don't let the pressure, the fire monkey, roaring lion, and fiery darts get to you.   
The bottom line for me is regardless of what is going on, I still must maintain self-control and not be distracted so that I am not devoured.  More importantly, I must keep my mind stayed on God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit that lives within me.  I have learned that my eyes fixed on Him gives me a special gift – God’s perfect peace.
Life, especially the Christian life, isn’t exempt from times of difficulty, strain, and worry.  However, God doesn’t want us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.  In fact, the word of God tells us, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”  Proverbs 4:23   Your heart's condition depends on the things you allow into your heart. These things form your thoughts and attitudes, and ultimately, shape the deepest part of your being. No matter what your circumstances (the outside) are, if your heart (the inside) is right, you're going to be okay.  But if wrong things (i.e. bitterness, hatred, jealousy, racism, and etc.) in our hearts go unattended, they will become deeply rooted and harder to deal with. The quicker you can detect a wrong heart condition and get it straightened out, the better off you are.
In addition, Phillipians 4:6-8, sums it all up for me.                  Stand Firm in the Lord
6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think on these things.…
In closing, guard your heart and certainly watch out for the fire monkey, roaring lion, and fiery darts!